Disagree with Your Teen's Style of Dress

Disputes over a teen’s style of dress can be major events. Each generation has their own style and it can be hard for teens to understand parental concerns about clothing.

Step 1
Sit down and think about what bothers you about the way your teen is dressing. Determine if you feel that she is dressing in a way that makes her appear too mature or whether you're concerned that the way she dresses will foster negative, preconceived notions. You may feel that your teen dresses as she does out of rebellion or that her clothes are inappropriately sexy.

Step 2
When you are your daughter are both relaxed and in friendly moods, gently broach the subject of clothes. Ask her what the other girls are wearing. Tell her what the clothing trends were in your day and ask her what the new styles of clothes are like now. As she talks, make mental notes about what she says. For instance, if she says that some kids are “preps” because they dress a particular way or some kids are “emos” because they dress a certain way. Let the conversation end on a positive note and do not mention your dislike of her style of dress.

Step 3
Wait for a time when you and your teen are together and there is no underlying stress. Tell her you want to talk with her about her clothing choices. Talk to her in a non-judgmental way. Talk to her like you would any other young adult and be honest and open. Tell your teen how you feel about her style of dress. Tell her what your concerns are and try to start sentences with “I” instead of “you.”

Step 4
Explain the preconceived notions people have of others based on how they dress. You can mention how your daughter said “so and so” was a jock or emo because they wore this or that. Tell her that others are looking at her the same way. Tell her that there could be ramifications because of the way she dresses and explain what they are.

Step 5
Next, give your teen time to say what she wants to say without interrupting. When it’s your turn to speak again, go back over your concerns.

Step 6
Tell her that you both can agree to disagree, but you would like to find a middle ground to make you both happy. Ask her to give some suggestions on how you can work it out together. What areas is she willing to adjust? Next, tell her what areas you are willing to look over.

Step 7
Finally, tell her what you expect of her. Be very specific. Tell her that any clothing you don’t think is acceptable will be confiscated and replaced with something that you both can agree on. Be prepared to reinforce any punishments you laid out if your child breaks the new clothing rules. Bookmark/Share this article with others: